Funny Nurse Quotes

August 22, 2021
Janelle Thomas MSN, RN
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Working in nursing is an incredibly rewarding career. But, that doesn’t take away the fact that some days just stink — literally. To help you get through the highs and lows of your day, we’ve created a list of hilarious nursing quotes to make you smile.

20 Funny Quotes for Nurses

1. You know you’re a nurse when your finger has gone places you never thought possible. — Unknown

2. Don’t mess with me — I get paid to poke people with sharp objects. — Unknown

3. Nursing friendships are a different kind of love. Like, ‘I’ll hold the butt cheeks while you clean the butt crack’ kind of love! — Unknown

4. They can put up with me, so you know that’s a good company. — Olivia Mason, Care Options for Kids LPN

5. Nurse — the first person you see after saying, ‘Hold my beer and watch this!’ — Unknown

6. Being a nurse is weird. I can keep a poker face through trauma but have a mental breakdown over losing my favorite pen. — Unknown

7. Once a nurse, always a nurse. No matter where you go or what you do, you can never truly get out of nursing. It’s like the Mafia… you know too much. – Deb Gaudlin, RN

8. Yes, I am a nurse. No, I don’t want to look at it. — Unknown

9. Laughter is the best medicine… except when treating diarrhea. — Unknown


10. Not saying I’m a big deal, but the government classifies me as essential. — Unknown

11. How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when they’re giving you an enema. — Warren Beatty, Actor

12. Nurses can’t fix stupid… but we can sedate it. — Unknown

13. Nursing school is a lot like giving birth… Once it’s over, you tend to forget just how painful the process really was. — Unknown

14. I love being a nurse, but I mostly love wearing scrubs. They’re basically professional pajamas. — Unknown

15. It would not be possible to praise nurses too highly. — Stephen Ambrose, Author

16. Be nice to your nurse. They’re the person who chooses your catheter size. — Unknown

17. You can tell when a patient is feeling better when she starts to wear makeup. — Jenn O’Keefe


18. Every nurse has a best friend, Pam: LorazePAM, DiazePAM, and ClonazePAM. — Unknown

19. The nurse that can smile when things go wrong… is probably going off duty. — Unknown

20. I have restraints and Ativan, and I’m not afraid to use them. – Deborah Barnes, RN

Join the Care Options For Kids Team!

Are you ready for meaningful work that comes with benefits and not burnout? Join the compassionate care team that helps children and families live their best lives. Our clinicians provide best-in-class pediatric nursing, therapy, and school-based services. We bring individualized care to children where they live, work, and play. We have opportunities in homes, schools, and clinics across the country.

Apply at Care Options for Kids now. We make it easy to get started, so you can begin making a difference as soon as possible.