Self Soothing

As parents, caregivers, and educators, we often focus on supporting children’s physical, emotional, and mental development. 

But what happens when life feels overwhelming, and the stress becomes too much to handle? 

It’s easy to forget that self-soothing techniques, which are often associated with infants or toddlers, can actually benefit children — and even adults — of all ages. Whether it’s the pressures of school, the excitement and chaos of the holiday season, or the unique challenges of children with specific needs such as ADHD, ASD, or SPD, everyone needs effective strategies to cope.

In this post, we’ll explore the importance of self-soothing as a lifelong skill, discuss the specific stressors that can affect children, especially those with basic to medically complex needs, and provide practical techniques for self-regulation and stress relief. 

We’ll also highlight how pediatric occupational therapy (OT) can play a key role in helping families develop these essential skills to reduce stress and foster healthier, happier homes.

From School to the Holidays — Navigating Stressful Times

With school in full swing, children and families are often confronted with a whirlwind of transitions, responsibilities, and expectations. School years mean early mornings, packed schedules, academic pressure, and social dynamics. Even after a few months, the stress of adjusting to routines, managing relationships, and meeting academic expectations can take a toll on both children and parents alike.

Add to that the holiday season — a time of both joy and stress — and it’s easy to see why kids can become overwhelmed. The holidays are filled with excitement, travel, celebrations, and new experiences. Still, they also bring disruptions to routines, increased social interactions, and a level of sensory overload that can be difficult to manage. For children who struggle with emotional regulation, sensory processing, or attention challenges, this time of year can amplify stress and anxiety.

Children with conditions like attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, Autism spectrum disorder, and sensory processing disorder are particularly vulnerable to stress during these periods. For example:

• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Kids with ADHD may struggle with maintaining focus, organization, or controlling impulses, which the chaos of a busy school year or holiday activities can exacerbate.
• Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD): Children with Autism may have heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli, such as noise, lights, or crowded spaces, making school or family gatherings challenging.
• Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD): Sensory processing disorder means that children may have difficulty processing and responding to sensory input in a way that doesn’t overwhelm them, leaving them feeling anxious or agitated.

When children are unable to process or cope with these stressors, it can lead to meltdowns, withdrawal, or even behavioral outbursts. That’s where self-soothing comes in.

What is Self-Soothing?

Self-soothing refers to the ability to calm and regulate oneself without needing outside intervention. It’s an essential skill for managing stress, emotions, and sensory overload. While we typically think of self-soothing as something infants do when they suck their thumb or rock themselves to sleep, it is a practice that can benefit people of all ages. Self-soothing techniques are strategies that help children regain control of their emotions, calm their nervous system, and return to a state of balance.

For children, especially those with special needs, self-soothing can be an essential part of self-regulation. Self-regulation is the ability to manage one’s emotions, behaviors, and reactions in a healthy and productive way. This is a skill that can be developed over time with the right tools and support, often involving finding effective ways to manage stress before it escalates.

Parents and caregivers also benefit from learning these techniques. After all, stress in the household can affect everyone, and finding ways to create a calm and supportive environment for all family members is key to managing emotional health.

The Role of Self-Regulation in Stress Management

When children and adults learn to self-regulate, they are better equipped to handle stressors, whether it’s the pressure of schoolwork or the sensory overload from holiday celebrations. Learning to recognize signs of stress early on and taking steps to alleviate it before it becomes overwhelming is a powerful tool for emotional well-being.

Self-regulation can involve a range of techniques, including mindfulness, breathing exercises, sensory breaks, and physical activities. These tools allow children to pause, assess how they’re feeling, and take action to calm themselves down. By practicing these techniques regularly, children can learn to prevent meltdowns, avoid becoming overwhelmed, and manage their anxiety.

For children with ADHD, ASD, or SPD, the ability to self-regulate becomes even more important. These children may have difficulties with impulse control, emotional responses, or sensory input, which can make it harder for them to cope with stressful situations. Without proper coping mechanisms, stress can quickly spiral into frustration or anxiety, affecting their behavior and relationships with others.

Practical Self-Soothing Techniques for Kids and Families

There are numerous self-soothing techniques that can be adapted for children of different ages and needs. Below are some of the most effective methods:

Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises are one of the simplest and most effective ways to help children calm down in moments of stress. Teaching kids how to breathe deeply and slowly can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces the body’s fight-or-flight response.

Technique: The “5-Finger Breathing” exercise is a great way to introduce deep breathing to young children. Here’s how it works:

• Have your child hold up one hand in front of them, with their fingers spread wide.
• Ask them to use their other hand to trace up one finger while breathing in deeply.
• When they reach the top of the finger, they exhale slowly as they trace down the other side of the finger.
• Repeat the process for each finger.

This is an easy, fun, and interactive way to help kids calm down and focus on their breathing.

Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques help children reconnect with the present moment, especially when they feel overwhelmed or disconnected. These techniques work by encouraging children to focus on sensory input, such as what they can see, hear, feel, or touch, to ground themselves in reality.

Technique: The “5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise” is a simple and effective way to engage kids in the process:

• Ask your child to name five things they can see around them.
• Then, have them list four things they can touch.
• Next, have them identify three things they can hear.
• Then, two things they can smell.
• Finally, one thing they can taste.

This technique helps children shift their focus away from the stressor and helps them re-engage with the world around them.

Sensory Breaks

For children with SPD or those who struggle with sensory overload, sensory breaks can be incredibly beneficial. These breaks allow children to engage in activities that help them regulate their sensory input, whether that’s through movement, touch, or sound.

Technique: Depending on what your child responds well to, sensory breaks can include:

• Movement: Jumping on a trampoline, swinging, or doing yoga stretches.
• Deep pressure: Using a weighted blanket or tight hugs to provide calming, deep touch pressure.
• Tactile activities: Playing with sensory toys, such as putty, stress balls, or sand, to engage the sense of touch.

Offering these types of breaks throughout the day can help children stay regulated, especially during high-stress periods, such as school or holidays.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness techniques help children focus on the present moment and become more aware of their thoughts and feelings. Simple mindfulness exercises can improve emotional regulation, reduce anxiety, and help children build resilience.

Technique: The “Mindful Listening” exercise is a simple way to introduce mindfulness to kids:

• Have your child sit quietly and close their eyes.
• Ask them to listen carefully to the sounds around them.
• After a few minutes, have them describe the sounds they heard, without judgment or interpretation.

This practice encourages kids to pause and reflect on their sensory experiences, which can help reduce feelings of anxiety or overwhelm.

Visualization and Imagery

Guided imagery or visualization exercises can help children use their imagination to create calm and peaceful scenarios in their minds, reducing stress and anxiety.

Technique: Guide your child through a simple visualization exercise:

• Ask them to close their eyes and imagine a peaceful place — this could be a beach, a forest, or even a favorite cozy spot.
• Encourage them to imagine all the details of the scene — what they can see, hear, feel, and smell.
• Allow them to “spend time” in that peaceful place, and when they’re ready, slowly bring them back to the present.

This practice can help children “escape” from stressful situations and find a moment of peace.

How Pediatric Occupational Therapy (OT) Can Help

Pediatric occupational therapists (OTs) are experts in helping children develop self-regulation skills. They work with families to create personalized strategies for managing stress, sensory input, and emotional regulation.

An OT can assess your child’s specific needs, whether that’s related to ADHD, ASD, SPD, or general emotional regulation, and tailor interventions that are appropriate for their age, abilities, and challenges. OTs can provide families with tools to help children self-soothe, such as sensory diets, environmental modifications, and structured routines.

Additionally, OTs can educate parents and caregivers about how to create an environment that supports self-regulation. They can help establish calming routines, design sensory-friendly spaces, and introduce activities that promote emotional well-being.

Taking a Family-Centered Approach

Incorporating self-soothing techniques into everyday family life requires a collaborative, family-centered approach. It’s important to remember that self-regulation is not just about the child. Instead, it’s a skill that the whole family can benefit from. When parents and caregivers are equipped with effective strategies to manage stress and emotions, the entire household can work together to create a calmer, more supportive environment. 

At Care Options for Kids, we’re all about connecting families with the support they need to thrive. Our experienced and caring pediatric OTs work with families to ensure that strategies like self-soothing techniques are not only introduced to children but are also integrated into the family’s overall routine and lifestyle.

Calm Families, Happy Families

Self-soothing is a vital skill that benefits children of all ages, from infancy through adulthood. It’s not just about learning how to calm down — it’s about fostering emotional resilience, promoting mental well-being, and creating a healthier family dynamic. Whether your child is facing the challenges of school, dealing with sensory overload during the holidays, or managing the unique needs of ADHD, ASD, or SPD, self-regulation strategies can be a lifeline for both children and families.

By incorporating practical self-soothing techniques, creating a supportive home environment, and working with professionals like pediatric OTs, you can help your child and family navigate stress in a healthier, more mindful way. The benefits will not only be felt in the immediate moments of overwhelm but will extend far beyond, equipping your child with tools they can carry with them throughout their lives.

The journey of self-soothing is an ongoing process, but with patience, support, and the right tools, children and families can learn to manage stress together, fostering an environment of calm, connection, and emotional strength.

Schedule Your Child’s Care Assessment Today

At Care Options for Kids, we understand the unique challenges of caring for a child with basic to medically complex health needs. Our dedicated team of pediatric therapists is here to support your family with compassionate, expert care tailored to your child’s needs. Contact us today to schedule an assessment and learn how we can help you navigate this journey with confidence and care.

Click here to start your journey to better care. 

This post is for educational and informational purposes only. You should always speak with your therapist before implementing this information on your own.